My Goals...

I think it's important to have goals and to share them with others. SO...I'm going to share what my goals from now until Jarod returns in March.

BE PHYSICALLY HEALTHY! (rock hard abs, baby!)
*I want to have a regular exercise routine and get is great shape.
*I want to eat healthy and snack less on junk food.
*I want to minimize alcohol. (maybe a couple nights a week I'll have a glass of wine)
*Go on bike rides w/ the kids.

STAY IN COMMUNICATION W/ JAROD!
*Send emails everyday.
*Write and mail a letter at least once per week.
*Mail a care package at least once per month.
*Talk on the phone or webcam as often as possible.
*Maintain a daily journal just for him to read when he returns.

STAY ON TRACK EMOTIONALLY & SPIRITUALLY!
*Write a blog entry at least 1 time per week.
*Stay in communication w/ family and friends.
*Read my Bible devotions every day.
*Attend church.
*Pray A LOT!
*Reach out when I need help.
*Lots of PMA (Positive Mental Attitude)
*Make time for ME once per month (go for a massage or pedicure etc...)

GET READY FOR BABY MAKING! Jarod and I are planning our 3rd and final child. We want to get started on making her as soon as he returns. (I just think she'll be a girl! Isabella Grace!)
*Take my vitamins...especially folic acid.
*Stop using Birth Control. (duh)

EARN THE USE OF A FREE MARY KAY CAR!!
*I want to go "on target" for my car by the time Jarod leaves. (I am 2 recruits away from this goal!)
*I want to actually earn that car by the time he returns. (Instead of taking the car I will take the $375/month cash compensation and buy him the truck he's always wanted. He had a couple thousand dollars saved in his "truck fund" when I started my Mary Kay business. He gave it to me to help build my business. So, I told him if I ever earn a car I will get the cash to pay for his truck. What better time to get him his truck then when he returns from a deployment!)

So there it is! All written out!
Between being active with my children, staying involved in church, my Mary Kay business and my awesome neighbors/friends....I think I will be pretty busy while Jarod is gone! I hope this helps time fly and when he returns I will be a better woman.

:)
-Linda

Numb Emotions...

I was running errands yesterday and while we were in the car my oldest son asked to listen to Veggietales. So, I put in the CD. After the CD was over it automatically started the next one in there which was the CD from our Wedding. It included all of the music played from intro to reception. I started singing the first song, Shaina Twain's "From this moment on". It was the song that started our ceremony until I walked down the aisle. NORMALLY I can't sing this song without crying. I'm flooded with emotions of our special day and I am reminded of how in love with Jarod I am. This time was different. I sang through the entire song and then the next song started. That's when I realized that I didn't even get choked up. I felt numb. I just sang the words on autopilot I guess. I've heard from other military wives that it is common to start guarding yourself as deployment approaches. It's just easier to say goodbye if your heart is protected. But I don't want to miss out on the happy emotions because I'm so guarded. I sang through the next few songs and forced myself to feel vulnerable. That's when the song came on by Bryan Adams, "Everything I do, I do it for you." The flood gates opened up then! Here's a copy of the lyrics in case you need to be reminded.

*Look into my eyes - you will see What you mean to me.
Search your heart - search your soul. And when you find me there you'll search no more.
Don't tell me it's not worth tryin' for. You can't tell me it's not worth dyin' for.
You know it's true. Everything I do - I do it for you.
Look into your heart - you will find There's nothin' there to hide.
Take me as I am - take my life. I would give it all - I would sacrifice.
Don't tell me it's not worth fightin' for. I can't help it - there's nothin' I want more.
Ya know it's true. Everything I do - I do it for you.
There's no love - like your love And no other - could give more love.
There's nowhere - unless you're there All the time - all the way.
Oh - you can't tell me it's not worth tryin' for. I can't help it - there's nothin' I want more.
I would fight for you - I'd lie for you. Walk the wire for you - ya I'd die for you.
Ya know it's true Everything I do - I do it for you*

This reminds me of Jarod's love for me, the boys and his country. He is SO willing to fight and die for all of us. I am truly honored to be his wife and support him in the military. I am so proud of who and what he represents. (God and USA)

I have a feeling it will be a daily struggle for me to make myself be open and vulnerable. But, I will try so I can get the most out of the little time we have left...until he returns.

Thanks for reading! Any comments are welcome!

-Linda

The beginning of our journey...

Well, here we go! I knew when I married Jarod that he would have to deploy SOME DAY. Since last Fall we've been told he would leave this Fall to Afghanistan for 6 months. Then it changed to leaving in October to Iraq for 4 months. Then it changed again to leaving in September to the Philippines for 6 months. NOW he's leaving the end of August...until that changes again! I'm frustrated that every time he calls for updates on his deployment he gets changes to the plan. They don't tell him until he asks! I finally get used to the new plan and then it changes again. So, I'm at the point where I'm expecting it to change again. They can take him as early as August 2 because that's when he's done with his Summer program here.

That's right! All summer I only see him on the weekends. I have to say we are making the most of our weekends. We are going on little family adventures and trying to go on more dates. There is more passion in our marriage now. We are really living each day like it's our last. It sucks to think of it that way but we don't want any regrets when he leaves. At first our relationship was strained because of our fears about this deployment. So many marriages break a part during this time. It happened in Jarod's first marriage so he had his fears. Now we are trying to focus on growing closer to God and each other and the past few weeks (or should I say weekends) have been amazing!

I knew deployments were hard but I wasn't expecting such a roller coaster BEFORE the deployment.

Now that Jarod is leaving next month I feel like there's so much we need to do and we're running out of time. I'm taking it one day at a time. I'm staying busy with my kids and I talk to my family and friends often. I hope this deployment will be a great experience that will help me strengthen relationships and grow in my Faith.

I'm excited about this blog so I can hear from everyone out there. I love to read thoughts and supportive words. I know there are many wives out there who have been through multiple deployments and I'd love to hear how they got through it. I pride myself on not being dramatic and staying calm most of the time. Although I have felt myself getting anxious lately. I hope this blog helps me just let my feelings out.

Thanks for reading! I'll try to update at least a few times per week.

God Bless!
-Linda