Tomorrow will mark one month since Jarod left. It's actually gone by quite fast! I have stayed extremely busy!
Yesterday was a sad day. Jarod called me in the evening to let me know he was ok and not to worry about him based on news reports. I didn't know what he was talking about. I tried to look up news but found nothing. He informed me of 2 Americans who died. Just a few days ago he told me he had a bad feeling and an American would die soon. He told me to be ready to receive a phone call with shocking news. Well, I hope and pray that there are no more phone calls like this! Thankfully I could hear his voice and know that he was ok.
It does scare to think he could have been where those guys were. I've cried quite a few times since his call last night. I didn't sleep well at all. I wasn't worrying myself sick but I just couldn't stay asleep. I kept getting up to check on the boys, getting some water, and then toss and turn a bit before drifting back off to sleep.
I know my worrying is no help at all to Jarod. What is helpful is the power of prayer. So, the moment I start to feel anxious I pray. I have been praying a lot! I have to say I do feel peace when I pray. Prayer is like medication for me, I guess. I thought about asking my Doctor about an anti-depressant or something but I haven't yet. Mainly because...I'm not depressed. I cry here and there and if feel a little anxiety. I just keep trying to pray and relax myself.
Last week I had a lot of stomach pains and headaches. I feel pretty good right now, other then being tired from not enough sleep. I'm on day 4 of a detox/cleanse. It's very gentle and I feel that it is helping me to not feel so sluggish. I'm paying attention to my water intake and amount of carbs. It is a goal of mine to be VERY physically (of course, emotionally and spiritually too!)healthy by the time Jarod returns. I need a healthy body to help ensure a healthy pregnancy, when we try to have our last baby. (Isabella Grace)
Well, I'm off to bed for tonight. I think I will sleep well. I got to talk to Jarod for a few minutes and that always helps put my mind at ease. :)
Until Next Time...
-Linda
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Adjusting...
Well, It's been 13 days since Jarod left. We are finding our routine again and things are running smooth. I even went to the gym! (it's been too long and I was SO sore for 3 days!)
Aiden had 4 days off school for Labor Day weekend. During that time it was rough because all of our company was gone and we had no reason to get up and going. We didn't get dressed until noon every day. I didn't have much motivation. Now, with Aiden back in school, we get up and go in the morning and I get things done a lot faster. Still struggling with restless sleep and daily headaches but it's not slowing me down much.
The boys are doing well. Good days and bad just like everyone. Micah has been whining a lot the past 2 days and wanting to be held. Aiden is sensitive and cries easily but he's doing better and not getting in trouble at school. He's also a huge help around the house. He has more chores when Jarod's away.
I've gone right to bed every night after I put the boys to bed. I've been SO tired! Tonight I stayed up to watch a little TV (since I don't watch it during the day) and catch up online. I started to feel some loneliness thinking about Jarod and how I wished he could be sitting next to me.
He's been able to call me every couple days. It's so great to hear his voice! He's finally getting adjusted to the time change and trying to get in to his own routine. So far it doesn't look like we'll be able to use the webcam. Internet is too slow out there. But, he can occasionally send an email which is always a nice surprise!
It's amazing how much you miss someone when they're gone. It makes me think back to when he was here and if I showed him how much I love and appreciate him. I guess my point is to appreciate what you have while you still have it!
I miss him so much! About 25 more weeks to go!
Thanks for reading!
-Linda
Aiden had 4 days off school for Labor Day weekend. During that time it was rough because all of our company was gone and we had no reason to get up and going. We didn't get dressed until noon every day. I didn't have much motivation. Now, with Aiden back in school, we get up and go in the morning and I get things done a lot faster. Still struggling with restless sleep and daily headaches but it's not slowing me down much.
The boys are doing well. Good days and bad just like everyone. Micah has been whining a lot the past 2 days and wanting to be held. Aiden is sensitive and cries easily but he's doing better and not getting in trouble at school. He's also a huge help around the house. He has more chores when Jarod's away.
I've gone right to bed every night after I put the boys to bed. I've been SO tired! Tonight I stayed up to watch a little TV (since I don't watch it during the day) and catch up online. I started to feel some loneliness thinking about Jarod and how I wished he could be sitting next to me.
He's been able to call me every couple days. It's so great to hear his voice! He's finally getting adjusted to the time change and trying to get in to his own routine. So far it doesn't look like we'll be able to use the webcam. Internet is too slow out there. But, he can occasionally send an email which is always a nice surprise!
It's amazing how much you miss someone when they're gone. It makes me think back to when he was here and if I showed him how much I love and appreciate him. I guess my point is to appreciate what you have while you still have it!
I miss him so much! About 25 more weeks to go!
Thanks for reading!
-Linda
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
The After Shock...
Sunday August 30 was one of the hardest days of my life. It seemed like I was crying every 10 minutes. I had to say goodbye (And watch my children say goodbye) to my husband for the next 6 1/2 months. Thankfully my amazing dad and step-mom flew in to stay with me and the boys. They were with us when we said goodbye and stayed for a few days after.
My heart broke to watch my husband run to catch his plane. At the same time I feel closer to him then ever. I've never seen him so emotional. He's a tough guy and he doesn't cry. That all changed the day he left. We hugged and kissed and cried together. I have a sense of peace that everything will be ok. I will just miss him terribly.
I also have to face the fact that I'm a single mom of 2 for a while. I have to run the house, bills, dr. appts etc... I know it will give me even more appreciation for when he returns.
The day he left I walked around in a fog. My head was fuzzy like I was sedated. It's a weird feeling to have. The next day was better. I still got emotional but not as much and my head was more clear. The following day I was "fuzzy" again and my vision was off. I had a hard time focusing. It's amazing what I bodies do when we feel emotional stress!
Today I took Dad and Dar back to the airport. I ran a bunch of errands and came home to put my toddler to bed for a nap. Aiden was in school and I was in a quiet house for the first time in a few weeks. Part of me wanted to take a nap, another part wanted to catch up on Facebook, another wanted to cry and then I finally called my neighbor to come over. She did and we chatted for 30-45 minutes until Aiden came home from school.
I think I've done well the past few days. I haven't had a nervous break-down or felt like I couldn't get out of bed. I was a single mom (of 1) before I married Jarod so I know what it's like. Also, Jarod's job in the military takes him away from home. All summer he was gone Monday through Friday. I'm pretty used to going to bed without him. Right now it feels like he's gone for his summer program and he'll be back Friday or Saturday. We'll see how it goes once the weekend rolls around.
My 7 year old seems to be taking it the hardest. He's been distracted and forgetful lately. He's not listening well in school and he's been crying about everything. There is a counselor at his school that will check on him every week. I am thinking about having him seeing an outside therapist also.
I am blown away by the amount of support that has been shown to me. I have a list a mile long of people I can contact if I need anything. I've gotten nearly 100 messages on Facebook and email from people I know or who know my parents and they heard about the deployment. So many people are praying for us and I can feel it. It feels like a warm blanket of support. I can feel God's Grace every day and it really makes me appreciate everyone and God even more.
I've been able to talk to Jarod via cell phone, email or webcam the past few days. I love technology!! He's in Hawaii for spin up training but will head to his deployment place in a few days. I've been advised to not go in to detail about where he'll be, when he'll be there, and what exactly he'll be doing. What I CAN say is that he is working with Special forces from all branches and they have a very important (top secret most of the time) mission in the Philippines.
Please continue to pray for Jarod's safety and for us back home. Pray for my continued peace of mind and for me to learn to adjust to my new, very busy, schedule. I don't want to overdo it and make myself ill but I do want to stay busy and have a regular schedule.
God Bless you all! Thank you again for your support!
I'll check in soon...
Love,
Linda
My heart broke to watch my husband run to catch his plane. At the same time I feel closer to him then ever. I've never seen him so emotional. He's a tough guy and he doesn't cry. That all changed the day he left. We hugged and kissed and cried together. I have a sense of peace that everything will be ok. I will just miss him terribly.
I also have to face the fact that I'm a single mom of 2 for a while. I have to run the house, bills, dr. appts etc... I know it will give me even more appreciation for when he returns.
The day he left I walked around in a fog. My head was fuzzy like I was sedated. It's a weird feeling to have. The next day was better. I still got emotional but not as much and my head was more clear. The following day I was "fuzzy" again and my vision was off. I had a hard time focusing. It's amazing what I bodies do when we feel emotional stress!
Today I took Dad and Dar back to the airport. I ran a bunch of errands and came home to put my toddler to bed for a nap. Aiden was in school and I was in a quiet house for the first time in a few weeks. Part of me wanted to take a nap, another part wanted to catch up on Facebook, another wanted to cry and then I finally called my neighbor to come over. She did and we chatted for 30-45 minutes until Aiden came home from school.
I think I've done well the past few days. I haven't had a nervous break-down or felt like I couldn't get out of bed. I was a single mom (of 1) before I married Jarod so I know what it's like. Also, Jarod's job in the military takes him away from home. All summer he was gone Monday through Friday. I'm pretty used to going to bed without him. Right now it feels like he's gone for his summer program and he'll be back Friday or Saturday. We'll see how it goes once the weekend rolls around.
My 7 year old seems to be taking it the hardest. He's been distracted and forgetful lately. He's not listening well in school and he's been crying about everything. There is a counselor at his school that will check on him every week. I am thinking about having him seeing an outside therapist also.
I am blown away by the amount of support that has been shown to me. I have a list a mile long of people I can contact if I need anything. I've gotten nearly 100 messages on Facebook and email from people I know or who know my parents and they heard about the deployment. So many people are praying for us and I can feel it. It feels like a warm blanket of support. I can feel God's Grace every day and it really makes me appreciate everyone and God even more.
I've been able to talk to Jarod via cell phone, email or webcam the past few days. I love technology!! He's in Hawaii for spin up training but will head to his deployment place in a few days. I've been advised to not go in to detail about where he'll be, when he'll be there, and what exactly he'll be doing. What I CAN say is that he is working with Special forces from all branches and they have a very important (top secret most of the time) mission in the Philippines.
Please continue to pray for Jarod's safety and for us back home. Pray for my continued peace of mind and for me to learn to adjust to my new, very busy, schedule. I don't want to overdo it and make myself ill but I do want to stay busy and have a regular schedule.
God Bless you all! Thank you again for your support!
I'll check in soon...
Love,
Linda
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